a.k.a gyp-step shambolotov! Recorded by the fantabulous Natalia Tena
Our guitarist Adam throws down £40 in my lap, (I’m wearing a one piece red panda outfit, he is wearing black) ‘I’ll give you £40 if you punch me in the face, go on!’ I spend the next hour trying to take a running jump into his face with my fist but can’t do it. We find this very funny as does Lauren, my flatmate grinning asleep on the sofa and Sam, who has entered in a full penguin outfit. Our manager Sirius arrives to get us all up and ready to move this undisciplined chaos on the road because ….
WE HAVE GO TO WALESFOR A FESTIVAL!!! Sirius says he’ll drive. When we finally manage to get into the car, I sprawl in the back. We stop to get cider, hummus, Boursin and baguette (standard molotov snack) at Tesco, then I pass out.
I wake up just as we arrive. Sirius informs us that we’re no longer staying in the promised country manor; we’re in tents … kill me now! This festival, ‘Landed’ is new this year and run by an amazing specimen of man, Aubrey (or Brie as I like to call him). He apologizes for this mishap but, luckily, the tents are BEAUTIFUL! Angus, Tom and Adam finally arrive and I throw at pot noodle at them to celebrate. We all settle in as Brie hands us the local cider, (actually) called orgasmic cider and we all look at the sheep, lambs and hills surrounding us, approve highly and continue drinking.
It’s nearly time! I smoke and feel cold and tired, WHERE IS THE ADRENALINE?! Max eats half a burger and starts to feel terrible, but Sam devours the rest and says its fine. Tom is worried he’s completely out of tune and asks me obsessively for an A (everyone has to tune to me as my accordion is out of tune, not only with the world pitch, but itself!) We walk on stage and I start doing star jumps in order to be able to brave the chill while wearing a little red number. We do a line check which brings the crowd in. Suddenly … WHERE IS MAX!!?? The drum stool most definitely is not seating a Max…..THE BURGER!! I start telling the crowd that they have to dance or find the entrance of this festival immediately and f*** off, which strangely makes audiences warm to you! Tom wants yet again another A (IT’S FINE!!!) Sam is about to go look for Max when…. HE APPEARS! We can finally begin!
There is something to be learned about doing gigs at the end of your physical tether; you’re just trying to get through and you realise how much fun you’re having and how easy it is to talk to the crowd and make jokes when something goes tits up, (like when we threw in some chord clangers or Sam suddenly slipping out of tune he’s doing his violin solo!) and you realise that the audience can enjoy the show all the more for these little moments. Still …WE SMASHED IT!!! The tent was heaving by the second song and by the end all the boys’ shirts had sweated through. Sirius was joyful we had a new song ‘Don’t Panic’ which we dedicate to him trying to manage this band of individuals with a penchant for being unmanageable. Applause, encore, repeat.
We assemble to have our post drink/cigarette on a dishevelled quad bike. There is nothing like that moment of stopping after that gig, putting down the weight of the accordion and just breathing, not talking and sitting on anything. All step to campfire where I get so sleepy; my throat and limbs hurt but more smiling banter takes me into my dreams to the sound of Dub-Step, the festival season has started once again…!